Completely Authentic Online: Kaitlin the Relatable Therapist

Kaitlin really caught my eye on social media as I immediately noticed her tattoos that covered her hands- and the fact that she was a Canadian Therapist. 

Kaitlin has a very active social media account and has been known to be quite  outspoken on instagram- you will notice that she has a particular style of being incredibly authentic online- something that she says has brought her a lot of enjoyment (and incredible stress!) at the best of times.

Kaitlin Baldwin is a Registered Psychotherapist Clinical Director, Therapist, and Clinical Supervisor at Baldwin Psychotherapy in Ontario Canada.

A few words from Kaitlin's website: 

"Bottom line is I want you to no longer need therapy, and we achieve that by diving into some uncomfortable and challenging stuff. There's no immediate pressure to "fix" anything, especially because most people hold themselves to extremely unrealistic standards of how they "should" be; something I usually address right away is letting go of those expectations once you walk in the door."

You can find Kaitlin on instagram @kaitlin_therelatabletherapist

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Transcript

0:04

Welcome to Launch Your Practice, the show that helps therapists build a thriving private practice. I'm your host, Megan Hamilton, and each week I'll be sharing insights and strategies to help you grow your business and achieve financial success. Running a business is not something that we're taught in school, so I've created this podcast to help you learn and avoid some of the sidesteps and mistakes I have made to help you build a profitable private practice. So if you're ready to transform your business, join me on this journey to building a profitable private practice. Now let's get started with today's episode. Hi friends. It's Megan here. I'm going to welcome our guests to the podcast. Caitlin, please take a moment to introduce yourself. Yeah. Hi everyone. I'm Caitlin Baldwin. I'm registered psychotherapist in Barrie, Ontario. Yeah. And I, I'm online. You are online. That's, that's how I discovered you if, if that's the right word on social media. I mean, as a regular consumer of psychology related content, I've come across your profile and I was just so compelled to reach out and get to know you. Yeah. Oh, that's so nice. Like I know I've tried to really grapple with the understanding that my flavor of online presence is not for everyone. And as much as I love that, it's kind of allowed me to like really connect with the people that do enjoy my content. I find that they're very like minded and, you know, they have the same values and, yeah, it's been really lovely to connect with people. So thank you. I appreciate being on here. Well, and that's what really drew me to reach out is, is the degree, the authenticity meter on your account is like in the red, it's in the overdrive section of openness, transparency, connectedness. And you know, as I just mentioned briefly before we hopped on here, like there is a continuum of how therapists decide to connect with social media and how they present themselves online. for listening. And, that's what I really want to talk to you about today because I, I think, your presence is, uh, refreshing. I mean, you said it yourself, it's not, it's not for everybody, but those, it's like, gosh, like what a, what an opportunity to connect. Yeah. It's been like something that's been really lovely, I think is I get a lot of DMs from you. Like baby therapists or people who are, you know, just finishing their master's or they've just entered the field and they're like, Oh, Caitlin, like, you know, I so appreciate your vulnerability on here. And, it seems like it's kind of giving permission to a lot of people to start. Opening themselves up. And I know that very few people are going to go full tilt, like, at the end of the spectrum that I am at right now. Um, because sometimes I definitely overshare and then I catch myself. I'm like, Oh, okay, I gotta, I gotta turn this back a little bit. But, I'm really grateful that, you know, in whatever small way I am having an impact, it seems like I'm kind of giving some folks permission to show up more like themselves. And that's. That's, that's my whole point of it, right? For clients, for therapists, for just the general public. Like I put so much out there because I want people to just. I don't know if I should be giving this permission, but like, yeah, you can just live your life and have all the stuff that happens, good or bad. And it's fine. Like, and there's nothing inherently wrong about that. I think when I first noticed your account. I mean you're Canadian and I'm Canadian too so that immediately that's that was what I noticed but. I'm, a therapist with a lot of tattoos and, and I think I noticed your tattoos first. And I've had a lot of experiences with clients, in the public sector who have kind of said, wow, like I've never, I've never had a therapist with tattoos before. Like, like, whoa. And such a shock point, which is so funny. It is funny. And I know for myself starting out, it was something that I didn't try to lead with out of the gate working in the public sector. You know, young out of school working for the government. you are trying to show up as your best self and you want to fit in and you want to do your best. And, I think that was always something that stood out for me. And, um, I, again, I just really found your account refreshing as far as like, well, this is what it is. This is who I am. And that's, that's what I really appreciate. I'm so glad you mentioned the tattoos. Cause like it, I always worry in talking about this too much because I don't want it to seem. You know, vain or superficial and at the same time I think that how we show up physically does a lot in terms of that like authenticity piece and that permission to just be yourself because I joke with my supervisees and like my team of therapists now that, when I first started as a therapist about six years ago now, I was at a community agency and we had a dress code. And so I wore like dress pants and even blazers now and then. And it's just, and then I would go home at the end of my work day and be like, Oh God, change this up. Yeah. And like, I just. I hated it because it felt so uncomfortable physically that it was translating into discomfort emotionally. And so it's really been the past, you know, two to three years in particular when I was about like a year into my own practice where I started to have more stability in my clients and that risk of losing people or turning people off wasn't quite as high. So then I just started experimenting like wearing beanies or wearing hats or wearing graphic t shirts and you know, I didn't wear dress clothes at all and then started wearing ripped jeans and you know, being able to just show up now in like a hoodie and my baseball cap is. That's how I dress. And it never made sense to me that I should dress so differently for work, especially when I'm trying to get my clients to feel comfortable being authentic. And that's always like my big motivator is how can I expect the people that I'm working with to show up as their authentic selves and to love their authentic selves if I am denying this huge part of my reality and clothes is just like a really fun way to experiment with that. Yeah,, I've had so many therapists approach me and talk about dress code and professionalism and intern students as well. And also connecting with other group practice owners around like, how are you enforcing your dress code with your, with your people, you know, things like that. And, um, I have so many big feelings about this and I, I like this topic. What are your big feelings? I just really enjoy the opportunity to, we can be professional and we can also be comfortable. And I think being comfortable creates opportunity for connection. And unfortunately, and I, There's a long history of this in, the realm of psychotherapy, but I think there's been all these ideas of, well, what a therapist should say, what a therapist should look like, how they should, you know, conduct themselves and, and how they need to present. And I, it does bring me, a lot of comfort to know that as I get more into this field and, as we practice and, things kind of evolve and change that there seems to be less of that or at least exceptions to rules. We're, I think we're very much in a paradigm shift where there is this big emphasis now on, you know, like normalizing therapists and that therapists are human. And maybe it's just because that's the, the section of the internet that I've found myself Within because I know there's still many, many people that say this is how you have to act, look and speak and all that. But to me, like, it's just such a classist thing. And I think psychology and psychotherapy in particular has been built on very, like, classist ideals, so when people talk about professionalism regarding a dress code, it's not really that there's something more inherently professional about a blazer or dress pants or a blouse versus a hoodie other than the fact that Richer people would buy the former right or like certain people couldn't afford former and as soon as I really unpacked that idea of professionalism and detached it from how I look and made all of it focused on like how I show up and how I talk to you and how, how invested I am in the work. Then everything else just kind of fell to the wayside because I'm like, whatever, I can show up in whatever I want to and yeah, and show, you know, my full tattoo sleeves and wear shorts and like, it's fine. And then, you know, I think similar to the point that you made, like, I've had clients tell me, I picked you in particular because you had tattoos, right? I feel way more comfortable with you because you show up in a hoodie and jeans and, and not this like, I'm, really biased towards the opposite side, which isn't fair because some people just like wearing dress clothes. But. To me, like showing up in, a full dress, it just feels so stuffy and clinical and it's, it's the vibe in the area of psychotherapy that I just do not fit within. Yeah. I've recorded an episode recently where we talked a bit about like the seriousness of therapy and then it can be a serious place and there is room for, there's a time, there's a time and need for it. Yeah. But I feel like this, like. We're missing some of the, like, we talk a lot about like your genuine self and your authentic self and like, show up, show up, show up. And, I feel like the playfulness and the humor and, the raw realness of each other is just, unfortunately, like, it doesn't show up enough. Yeah, it's a good point. Like, I know we just. You know, talk for the last five minutes about dress, but like, I've thought a lot about, you know, how I speak and even like, my body language, right? Like, I always can't fully sit cross legged right now because I just got my leg tattooed, so it's like, stretching, but you know, I, I sit like, cross legged most of the time, you know, and I will, and I've done this for a couple years now, but I will swear in sessions and I do bring humor in a lot because I was finding myself like, Even after I had switched dress wise, I was still really masking in terms of how I spoke and trying to uphold this ideal of here's how a professional therapist would speak and you do have to be so serious. And I can be really calm and serious and just really tuned in with you in the times that need it. But if it's always like that, and you're not having any levity or laughter or whatever, like, then it, I don't, to me it just paints this really weird picture of healing. It's like that it's always heavy and a lot, and I don't want therapy to always be like that. I want it to be a space where like, You can talk about something serious, and then maybe five minutes later, like, have a good, you know, dark humor chuckle? Because then, it's kind of teaching your body that, like, you can be in the presence of these heavy, difficult emotions, and still Lightness. And that's to me, I'm like, that's perfect. Like that's, that's exactly what we're going for. We want to be able to balance both and not feel like it has to be so heavy all the time, because then no one's going to want to heal. Yeah, it, it is that consistently, continuously uncomfortable, unpleasant thing, and who wants to show up week after week or session after session to paying money for just those moments like that, that doesn't really. I'm thinking about that. I just made this connection. It's so weird. I had this one therapist who was a, psychologist and who was director of psychiatry and he was really helpful in a lot of ways. Like you really helped me unpack stuff about like my dad and how that was showing up in my relationship currently and why I didn't feel like I could leave and blah, blah. But thinking, but now every session felt super serious and he always had that very blank slate serious look of. Hmm. So tell me more about that. And, you know, in many times I needed it, but I was like, Oh, there's never any lightness coming through. There's never any like goofiness coming through. And so I just found every session to be very, very heavy. And I stopped seeing him after a handful of sessions because I was like, I just, I don't really want to come here. Well, yeah, you hit a wall in that ability to connect. I mean, I don't know you well, but even in the moment we're speaking, like I could like, you know, like that's, you need some movement in how the other person's showing up. Yeah. And it's weird how much that's like trained out of us, right? Like I'm sure, I'm sure you've heard the term blank slate therapist. You know, I don't think any of us are explicitly taught that way, but we are. It's like there's this nervousness of like, Oh, but don't, don't be insensitive to the client. Like, ah, you got to use humor in a very particular, it's like, no, it's fine. Like, it's fine. We can actually. allow therapy still guided by, you know, interventions and models and all that good stuff. But like, it can still be conversational. And in fact, in my experience, it's going to be more beneficial if it is conversational than if it feels like this, what we were talking about before, like this very procured version of like, here's who I am as a therapist, how I talk as a therapist. And It just, yeah, the therapist hat and when, when to wear it and taking it off and that whole idea. Yeah. The different version of ourselves and, and I, I might argue it's more the nervousness. It's, it, it's just downright fear for, for most people of totally. I, I only know how to be like the textbook therapist or the Yeah. Yeah. And there's. There's a, a worry in like bringing in that authenticity, something that I hear. So like I, I supervise, I don't know, probably like 10 of the therapists right now. And something that I'll hear from them is like, well, I don't want to take up space and room, right? I don't want the focus to be on me. And there's, there's some misguided belief that if I show up authentically, it's going to detract some focus. And, and I always challenge that in a gentle way because we know, and no one is oblivious to this, we know that the relationship is the most important thing. Like we know that in therapy, we know that how you relate to your therapist as the client is going to be the biggest predictor of how quote successful unquote therapy is. Right. And so if, if you are like withholding these parts of yourself, you're withholding the fact that you, you know, would usually make a little like joke there or make a gentle challenge there. I don't know what, whatever, like. You're making it harder for that relationship to develop, and you're, you're actually creating barriers to connection, which is going to be harder in the long term. And, and I'm not sure what it is that's made us think that like, if I bring this small piece of myself in, it's going to suddenly take all the focus. Yeah. Because it never has, in my experience. And even in the times when I've like, potentially overshared, if I've, you know, maybe brought in a disclosure that wasn't as appropriate as it should be, then I just apologize for it and I say, you know what, I'm so sorry, I think I just, I just took up a bit too much space there. And then they'll be like, yeah, no worries. And then we, and then we focus back on them and it's no problem. Yeah. It's interesting what you're saying because I think like if you and I knew what we knew now and we could go back through our training and kind of be like, Oh, that was a moment where you were, guiding me down a path that didn't allow me to show up how I want to show up or, you know, like it's always one of those things that until you are practicing and act, you know, in the role of a, of a therapist, like it's hard to say, you What like led or guided us to some of those conclusions starting out? Cause I think we all kind of have that when we're baby therapists, like you said. Yeah. I mean, I think in part, like I can, I can speak for some of my students right now and that they've told me about, explicit instructions they're getting from professors of like, Hey, don't do this. Or you gotta be really, really careful when you do that. You know, that's a, highly experienced skill, like, be careful of that. Or, you know, you know, one of my students talked about, like, their identity, Indigenous communities and Two Spirit communities, and like, how do I bring that in? You know, am I allowed to bring it in? I'm like, oh my god, of course, right? How, comforting will that be to someone else who is Indigenous or Two Spirit or queer or whatever? So I think there's some messaging that we get from our educational institutions, and that's going to be very, like, professor specific. But then I think there's also Expectations we get from our workplaces, because when I was working in community mental health, we had to do therapy in a particular way, right? We had to come up with goal plans. And, we had to do these big, crazy long assessments that in my opinion, were really retraumatizing right at the beginning of working with someone. So I couldn't, yeah. Right. And like, so I couldn't work the way that I would authentically work. And it wasn't until I opened up practice and all this freedom to be like, all right, I'm not going to do any of that because none of that feels authentic for me. Right. And so I get it from the perspective of like, if you have to complete your master's degree, and potentially operating in a fully 100 percent authentic way that you don't graduate. Okay. Yeah, of course. Do what you need to graduate. Okay. There was a course, that I failed because my values, I didn't agree with this assignment that they wanted us to do. So I, I essentially like just wrote in it. I'm like, no, this doesn't make sense. Like wouldn't do this right now. It was something about assessment. And I was like, no, you wouldn't do this session one. And then they failed me. And I was like, and so I had to pay, you know, 2, 500 to retake the course. So there's obviously real consequences to it. And that's, what's really unfortunate. And that's where I understand the, The fears around authenticity for some people, but I don't know. I don't know if there's an easy way to get around it when you are like trying to meet the standards and expectations of someone else above you. Yeah. Yeah. You're, you're reminding me of an assignment I did too. Once where we had, we don't, we were given this situation, family dynamic. Whatever the case was and I wrote the entire of how I wouldn't work with the family and how I would refer them out. And I could have outlined all these reasons and I don't think they were very impressed. I didn't fail the course, but I remember this huge pushback of like, well, no, you're supposed to help everybody and you're supposed to you know, Do the thing. And I remember saying like, this would be, this wouldn't work for me. Like this, I wouldn't be the best person to serve here. Like, and I knew that really early on. So, I think maybe that's what reach out to you is like. There are moments where I can see you really pushing back on the expectation and really saying like, no, this is where this is where I am. And that and I really respect that in the work that you're doing and how you portray. Yourself online. And maybe that's a natural progression to how we can shift into social media and how you decided to show up on there and tell me how that all. Yeah. I mean, I, so I've operated my social media account since I opened my practice or since just before, which was like July, 2020. And I initially had it like branded under my practice name on psychotherapy and I only a couple months ago switched it to my current tag like Caitlin the Relatable Therapist. But I think it was like the content that I wanted to put out, I knew that I wanted to put out free content in terms of like here's some therapy knowledge because I know that therapy is just inaccessible to 95 percent of people and it felt important for me to be able to You know, yes, use it as marketing. I know that social media is important, but more importantly, I was like, you know, I want people to have access to this knowledge and to think about things differently than they've been trained to think about mental health. And you know, because I took a and I still am within this approach that's very much about like accepting and normalizing all experiences and not diagnosing things as a problem or a disorder. Like I felt really alone in that perspective because everyone else that I worked with was very heavy on what's their diagnosis and are they getting medication? And I was like, ugh, like I just, I felt very alone on this island, so I knew that I wanted to kind of heavily emphasize that, but then, you know, it was also like really motivated by my whole reason for being a therapist in general, like, I'll tell people that, you know, when I was a kid, I had, These really big feelings that everyone around me was like, stop feeling them. And, you know, and, and there was a lot of pushback and a lot of avoidance and a lot of suppression within my family. And, it just, you know, at a really young age, I was like, I can't be the only one that's feeling like this. And so so much of, you know, what drew or what drove me to do the work was like, I want to make sure that no one else feels like there's something wrong with them for experiencing this and so on social media just kind of became more and more like risky in a sense in going more of my real life. And I still struggle with it a lot because You know, I worry sometimes that people think like, I'm like that in therapy with my clients, right? Because I, so open, like I talk about, you know, having PTSD and being in an abusive relationship and whatever. And obviously in a session, I'm not like, Oh yeah, Megan here, let me just, let me tell you about my life. I'm not doing that. But online, you kind of need to shove it in someone's face for them to see it. Right. And. I found that the more I started posting about my real life, you know, the, the chaotic messiness of my kitchen after being in a depressive episode for weeks or, I don't know, whatever else, like, I would get this response of, holy shit, thank you for showing this. And I thought I was so alone. And every time I get a message like that, it just fueled it even more because I'm like, yes, this is exactly why I'm doing this. I want to make sure that people, especially online, where they see such a curated, you know, collage of videos and photos of people in their highlight Yeah. And I'm kind of showing the low lights. Yeah. So that's, that's my long winded answer of why I do what I do. No, it's what I noticed immediately and I, and I guess there's like an additional element of you're not the first transparent therapist, but I also think like your degree of vulnerability and I think especially as a Canadian therapist, like I almost think it's more,, it's like a next level of vulnerability because I, You know, I can think of several worldwide American therapists who are, you know, really similar to you and, we're being really open and, and day in the life among struggles. But I, it almost feels harder for us Canadian folks. And I don't know that is about. I'm really curious about it. Um, so it's something that. took it to the even the next level for me of, you know, watching along and learning about, about and you share a lot on your, on your account. Yeah, I can, I can agree with that. Like, I think I'm thinking of the ones that I know as well, and they're all amazing. Based and I know that there's like slight differences in the, ethics and like our, you know, our, our regulatory bodies, you know, here in Canada versus in the States. And, you know, there's some places in the States where like, I want to say the ethics are a bit more lax. And I don't know if that's kind of created a culture of just being more open or if it's just like, there's a higher entertainment industry there. And so, you know, I don't know, maybe people got ahead of us in terms of. I always say the states is five to seven years ahead of whatever. So. Yeah. I'm not sure if we're just late to the party, but, as far as your account, I think there's just, I don't know if it's just like, comfort or, uh, I'm not sure. I guess I'm just curious, like how you decided to just really. Go for it. And were there moments of like, Ooh, is that too much? I don't know. Like how have you navigated decisions? So the choice to go for it, I think came maybe about a year ago now. So like, like I said, I've had my practice for just over three years and the past year, I've been like, Full, full, full. Like I took on two new clients last year, you know, book people like four months ahead. And so I no longer felt like I had a risk of, I wasn't worried about losing clients cause I'm like, I'll be able to get more of a problem. And then I wasn't worried about gaining clients. So it kind of allowed me to be like, to push the envelope a little bit more on social media. It was also before I had taken anyone else on my team. Like I started to kind of really. Show more of myself maybe last summer and I didn't take anyone new one until September. So yeah, the risk just felt really low. but that said, like, being very authentic and, you know, having ADHD and being very impulsive many, many times has led me to, like, get quite a bit of backlash on certain things. And so the times when, like, you know, I've had maybe three or four reels go, um, viral, one that gave me, like, 10, 000 followers, which was crazy. And it was such a, it was such a simple reel. I was just, like, dancing around my living room. But, you know, there's been other ones that have gone viral, but, like, I got so much hate on them. And it was, it was ones where I put out a potentially, like, controversial opinion, about, like, you know, the problems with diagnosis culture or, one of my big ones was like, I'd said that you can't feel your thoughts. And so I was trying to differentiate the idea of like emotion from thought, and how that like language can kind of trip us up. But then a bunch of people were like, Oh my God, you're gaslighting. And, you know, like, you're, you're trying to tell people what they do and do not feel. And like just so much. So much heat on some of them that there were plenty of nights where I was like up all night crying or like panicked that I was going to lose my whole reputation that I had built up. And not so much on social media, I didn't care about that as much, but like, I had this big fear that, oh, this is going to translate into my actual business, right? People in my city are going to see me as this, you know, gaslighter or, you know, whatever, like this person that's very bigoted in their opinions. because again, on social media, like you do need to kind of,, throw something in someone's face or you need to have these click baity Openers to get someone to pay attention to it. And so I'm trying to operate within the confines of what works on social media while also being in this nuance of health. That, like, there isn't actually a clear cut solution, there isn't actually just one answer or one reason why something's happening. so trying to fit myself in between those two things has led me to make some I'll call them mistakes, just because of the kind of crapstorm that I got back. but the things that I stand behind, it was just like, it's hard to, you know, bring a certain topic of discussion down to, like, 90 seconds, which is the maximum that you have on Instagram. And, and then people be like, well, what, what about my personal situation? That doesn't fit. And I'm like, okay, well, I don't know you. Like, yeah, I don't know why, why do you expect everyone on the internet? But. I feel like it's really hard to win on, and I don't mean win win, but you know, like, I feel like it's, really hard to share content that doesn't get people's backup because some will say, Oh my gosh, thank you for saying that. I feel so bad. I feel so validated and then you'll get another person that feels personally attacked and they're reporting you or gosh, whatever, you know, you get all people. And when, one question I'm curious about is like, you know, when you've talked about these experiences where you've had this backlash, if you will, I don't know if it's that's accurate. Okay. Would you say that like that has come from the psychology community where there are therapists who are like, Whoa, whoa, pump the brakes, Caitlin, or is this more just people who are average everyday folk who aren't practicing or a bit of both? Yeah, it's been both. So there's definitely been some where, you know, The comments are just like so, so person focused. Like there's so much targeted at me that I'm like, Oh, you're just a general person that for whatever reason, the content that I've put out has triggered you and made you upset and so you want to attack me and I'm like. Okay, whatever. But then there's been other ones, one that I posted maybe two weeks ago, and it was like kind of slowly after I had started sharing a lot of information to my stories about the genocide and like this big shift for me to moving into anti oppressive practice, I posted one that was about like Not asking as a therapist and when your client says, how are you answering it? Honestly. And so I, in this little kind of mock skip that I did, I asked the therapist, I said, yeah, I'm angry today to my client, to my fake client. Right. And then I did have a bunch of therapists in the comments being like, this is totally unethical. This is going to place all of the emphasis on you. This is going to create a fear response in your clients. This is going to provoke their people pleasing tendencies, blah, blah, blah. And, and I fully stand behind that because, and I,, you know, responded to a bunch of the comments like. If my client's a people pleaser and I say that I'm angry and then their people pleasing reaction is activated, that's perfect. Now we get to work through that in therapy. Yeah. That's a real time exposure. And like, I don't, I can't remember what one of the other comments was, but as essentially the point that I was making is like, how can I expect my clients to honestly and authentically name their emotions, even when it's uncomfortable, if I refuse to, right. And You know, that there's like so much mottling and just being honest, but still there, there is, you know, I think probably 10 plus therapists that were like, no, this is a bad call and who educated you and, you know, like, you clearly don't know what you're doing. Okay, so those are the ones that, that sink in for sure with me. Those are the ones that like, I'll either kind of be really activated and like impulsively and super quickly responding to comments or I'll kind of put it down and like question my whole existence for a couple hours. Yeah. But usually by the next day I'm like, you know what, no, I stand behind that. That's, that is what I would do. Maybe not the perfect, like, most realistic way, maybe I'd be a bit. I have a bit more finesse in how I hear those things, but like, I stand behind that and I'm only receiving this litany of criticism because I'm showing it on a platform where I have 25, 000 followers. Like, that's, that's crazy. So that's fair. That's fair to get all this in. Is that rollercoaster of like content that really helps and heals and content that's a bit controversial and like this rollercoaster of feedback that you're getting, like at the end of the day, is it worth it for you? Like that sounds. It's it sounds like some moments are amazing and it sounds like yeah, it's are like oh shit What am I doing? Like why like just quit everything like I just need to unplug like So to me, it is worth it overall, but I've, like, I've really struggled with my boundaries around it, and, like, something that I'm kind of working on in my own therapy is really dry trying to detach these internalized ideals that I have of being trans. What I didn't realize was perfectionism, but it's very clearly perfectionism where I'm like, I just hold myself to such a high standard and I feel a responsibility to teach and educate and help everyone in the world, like the internet. so I'm, really, really passionate about it and for me like. I love drama. Like I was a drama kid all through school. I love public speaking. I love teaching. So I love being a supervisor now. So it really fills me up in a lot of different places. I think where I struggle with it is like, I haven't created the boundaries to allow it to be a balanced relationship. And because it is so quick and fast and easy, like I can record post a reel or schedule a reel and literally 30 seconds. And it's this little like bite sized amount of accomplishment. I find myself gravitating more towards that than to like the boring aspects of my job. Like. You know, redoing the website page, you know, doing my, my bookkeeping and stuff like that. So I definitely, it has value. It's totally worth it for me. And it's worth it for my long term goals. Like I've wanted to publish a book forever. I I've had three professional goals since I was really young. I wanted to open my own practice, do a Ted talk and write a book. So for me, there's like, there's an importance in it. Cause I know that if I got to a place where I had a million followers, I'd have an easier time. You know, being chosen for a TED talk, right? Like, and, or, and, you know, having an audience to, like sell my book to. So there's, there's value for it in terms of these future goals. And then there's immediate value for getting these DMs from people being like, Oh my God, thank you so much for this. This is so helpful. Like someone, someone DMed me the other day. And they were like, hey, you replied to my comment on your post like three months ago about this, this, this, like I essentially outlined how you could kind of mindfully sit with your, or mindfully sit with your thoughts instead of being like intertwined with them. And she was like, it helped me so much and she's like, no one had ever explained it to me that way and I've been using it every day since and I was like, oh my god, that's so cool. You're not even a client of mine, and I've had an impact, and even if it's only 1 percent of impact, like, I feel so, so grateful for that. It just runs my life sometimes. I'm trying to figure out how to get back from it a little bit here and there. Well, yeah, I mean, for better or worse, like when things start really growing and things are on fire and moving in that direction, I mean, there's a lot of time and energy that goes into fueling that fire. and I recognize why for you, as you've outlined, it makes sense to keep it burning because it can really fill some of those other goals. But yeah, the cost of that, it's funny because I'm noticing my, so my partner has just opened his own business and I don't know if it's an ADHD thing because we both have it, but like, I'll notice that he will spend so much time like editing his social media posts or whatever. And I look at it as an outsider and I'm like, dude, you're spending so much time on that. Get off your phone. But then thinking about myself and like, I've totally done that, right? It's so common for me where, when I'm between sessions, if I have half an hour or an hour, I won't. You know, which I, this may be bad to say, but like, I won't answer my, you know, a hundred plus emails. I'll film a reel because I have an idea for it. I'm like, oh, cool. I have time right now. So I know how easy it is to drag you in and I know that that's how social media was created. It's great to be addictive and we're all addicted to it, you know, pros and cons for that. But, yeah, it fills me up in so many ways and so many. The impact obviously is smaller, but there's more of it and it's validating for me. And I think that's something where like, in therapy, it's this weird field where you don't have You don't have someone overseeing your work to be like, Hey, you're doing a good job. So there's something online that's like, I'm doing a good job because I'm getting this feedback from people. A hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, we, work in so much isolation, even, even when we are on a team and we're really connected with an agency or a group practice or whatever, so yeah, social media is a different beast because you are, it's very much a two way relationship of like the consumer and the creator. And it is. Fun and there we are getting those dopamine hits real time and we are able to have these little micro impacts on people that is so giving. Mm hmm. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, like it. I kind of want to ask you like what's. What's the driving force for you and how you show up online? Oh, gosh. Well, um, I do run my group practice account. So, I mean, that, the goal on that, on that account is really just to create counseling, be more accessible, and to really, you know, make mental health just something that people can recognize and be. Open to receiving support. I do live in a fairly conservative place. And, granted, like our office is busy, but there are many people who still very much and in every community, right? Like, look at struggling with their mental health as, as something wrong with you. So, and then on my, this launcher practice account, I think for me, like feeling quite isolated and starting out and, yeah. Yeah. You know, wanting to feel connected, but also not wanting to be a part of something and wanting to create my own, like, there is a lot of rigidity around, well, this is what you're supposed to do, or this is what you should do, or this is what you can't do. And, and so I think for me, just recognizing that you can. Make hard decisions. You can start things over. I mean, I've left the field. I've come back to the field. I got my air quote dream job, resigned a year later. things have gone a very different path for me. And I just want people to learn that you can do so many different things. And I want people to learn that sooner than I did. And I'm very grateful for my experience, but sharing the message to other helpers and therapists, right. Burnout prevention. yeah, not quitting your daydream, like chasing it. Honestly, like, I think that that's something that probably drives most of us, right? Like, I want to help someone learn what I learned. Yeah. Like, I don't want someone to have to go through You know, the, the five years or 10 years and 20 years of struggle before learning that, like, they can do this for themselves or they can choose this path and it will work out or they can be true to themselves and they'll actually be more grateful for it than if they did this other. Yeah, I didn't realize I was a risk taker. I never would have called myself a risk taker, but I'm I've been continuously showing myself in, the last many years. Like, no, you're taking big risks all the time. I just want to support people to take any kind of risks that allows them to have a life that, that they love. Like, they're not just doing something because, well, I guess I got the job I wanted. Like, Oh, that's my worst night. I know there's like. This is where I, I feel like I start to sound like a conspiracy theorist. Oh my god, what's the word? Conspiracy theorist? Yes. Is that what it is? Yeah. That's the concussion speaking. I, because like, I, I have so many thoughts and theories around capitalism and this, you know, dream we've all been encouraged. I don't want to call it a dream, but this like inevitability that we've all been trained to think that we'll be forced into. And do you know the movie Accepted? Oh my god, I can't remember names, but it's this like old comedy movie from I think 2005. It's this kid who doesn't get accepted into college. So he like creates a fake new college. And then, then all these people who didn't get accepted elsewhere end up showing up. And it's this whole big thing, but it really, even though it's a comedy, it really does like such a wonderful job of showing how, You know, we've all been indoctrinated with these views of like, here's how you need to succeed in life, you know, you got to go to school and get a degree and then get a stable steady nine to five job and this, that and the other thing. And like, for a lot of people that not only doesn't fit, or maybe even isn't realistic, but for most people, it's not fulfilling. And so many people think that there's just like no other option. And, and simply to you, like, I never consider myself a risk taker, but then I tell people that I went full blown into private practice and didn't have a side job and just was like, yeah, that's going to be my full time income and they're like, shocked at it. And to me, I was just like, no, this is what I want to do. I don't want to work for somebody else. I don't want to work a part time job that I don't really like. I'm just going to. Kind of trust and believe that this will be okay. And it's definitely really sketchy. And I had some like deep, heavy, depressed moments when income was really inconsistent, which it tends to be in our field, but I wouldn't, I like, I don't regret it ever. Cause I, I felt proud of myself for making the decision and it felt true to myself to that decision. Yeah. I'm, I'm such a believer of like that's a solvable problem. Like we can figure that out. And if you need more income, okay. We can figure that out. Like, And, the what ifs of, well, what if I don't get clients? What if I regret my decision? What if I, not enough people want to return whatever, whatever the worry is, like, and therapists seem to have a lot of them when building their businesses. I feel like, we'll figure it out. Right. Like, and I just hope to. Be that voice of like, I will help you to figure it out, right? If you're starting out and you're not sure, like I'll help you figure it out. And I didn't have anyone or I didn't discover anyone at that time when I finished school that I could look to for those, questions. now I also wasn't on social media at the time at all. So maybe it had been on there. I could have found something, but, That felt like, I think, I think that the, the resources that are out there, to me can kind of seem like they're pedaling, like it's just too much of a salesmanship for me to really believe it. Right. Like I'll, I, I've seen, I think in these past however many years I'll see things that are like, you know, are you struggling with burnout? Try this. And there there's just something about it where it doesn't feel authentic to me, so I immediately turn around. Yeah. But you know, then for me, like I've looked to, One of my really great friends, Brittany Barrett, she, she was in my master's program with me. She graduated six months before I did because I failed that stupid course. And she opened her practice and like absolutely exploded. She now, she does something similar where she has like private practice powerhouse where she helps people open their own. And I think to me, it was like having this one person that I saw was so successful in it. And I was like, That, you know, tether was enough for me to be like, Oh, okay. Okay. This is totally doable. I can do this. Yeah. But then I, I acknowledge too, like there's, there is such a level of privilege that I have. Like, I think that, you know, if I were in a different situation, I just, I might not need as much income as I did. Right. Like being very honest, like the, the city Barry that I live in, that I have my practice in is a very. White town, a very white conservative town, I think, honestly, like, if I were a person of color, I may not have been as successful as I was, right? I mean, I'm aware of the fact that that had an impact on it, so. It's hard because I, you know, as much as I acknowledge and I see so much value in taking these authentic, leaps or steps or risks or whatever, I also know that I'm in a position where it's easier for me to do it than someone in some other marginalized group. then easier than it would be for them, you know, and so sometimes I feel like really kind of strapped or locked in this aspect that I can't just preach off into authenticity to everyone because a lot of people face very real barriers and financial being the biggest one that I mean for me like I grew up very poor in a weird way where no one knew that I was poor but I was. So like money stability has been a huge driver for me. And again, then I think about like people who are in these jobs where people expect them to show up in a particular way, or people that buy into this idea that they have to just find a steady nine to five. I'm like, I get it. I get the need for financial stability because without it, like, Oh, everything is, Gosh, there's so much to this conversation. Economics and politics. It's all relevant. It's all relevant. It does play into how we show up in the work we do. And also how we show up online and how we show up. On social media, like it, it's all connected and we've kind of come full circle here. I know, beautifully done, wrapped it right up, orchestrated, yeah, I love it. I want to know where, where can people find you if they want to reach out to you? They have questions, they want to follow along. Maybe they haven't heard about your account. What does that look like for people? Yeah, so on Instagram, I'm at Kaitlyn, and that's K A I T L I N, underscore The Relatable Therapist, not KaitlynYN, because my mom wants me fancy. Um, I am also found on all other socials at Baldwin Psychotherapy, so that's, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube. YouTube, I actually have a bunch of videos on there. I haven't released one in about a year, but there's a bunch on there that I, I would love to redo one day because they're a little cringey at times, but, there are actually videos that a lot of people like found me through and they've, I do, I covered like different therapy topics and kind of do like a quick five to ten minute, video. explanation of them. So, and then if you ever want to work with myself or at my practice, you can go to baldwins, psychotherapy. com. I have a team of four, including myself. I'm not kind of lovely in their unique ways. Amazing. What's, what's up and coming for you? What can people expect from you for in the, this year? Where are things this year? that's a really good question. I, hope to get to a place where I can run another group supervision. Right now I do one group and then a bunch of individual sessions, but I'd really love to open a bigger group. and then I do hope to start running workshops. my concussion is kind of thrown that plan for a loop this year, but ideally by the end of this year, if not early, I have plans to kind of run like seminar workshop type deals that would incorporate a lot of process based therapies. So therapies that don't need to be specific to particular disorders, but that allow you to work with all types of clients in a very integrative way. that's, that's my big plan for this year. Amazing. It was so great to spend some time with you. Yeah, I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful to, I know you are very busy and have a lot going on, but it was really great to hear from you and your perspectives on, showing up authentically is I guess the overarching theme of our conversation. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so grateful for it. Honestly, like I didn't really know what to expect when you reached out and I'm super happy I did it. Cause I wouldn't have, I don't know, I probably would have just like made a bunch of reels this afternoon. So my time, my opinion. Amazing. Thank you so much for being here. Yeah, thank you. That's it for this episode of Launch Your Practice. I hope you found the information valuable and actionable. Remember, building a profitable private practice takes time, effort, and persistence, but with the right mindset and strategies, you can achieve your goals and make a real impact on the lives of your clients. If you have enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform so you don't miss any future episodes. And if you have a moment, I would be so appreciative if you took some time to leave me a review. Your feedback helps me improve and reach more people just like you. If you have any feedback or future topic suggestions, feel free to reach out to me on Instagram at Launch Your Practice. I'd love to hear from you. Thanks again for tuning in to Launch Your Practice. Until next time, keep building your dream private practice and remember to take care of yourself along the way.